Codependency Recovery: Why Emotional Support Matters Most

In today’s world, families with mentally and chronically sick members also exhibit codependency. The whole family and circle of acquaintances can easily become enmeshed in a codependent relationship when your loved one is dealing with such issues.
Codependency affects everyone within the cycle, whether friends, colleagues, or family, and requires everyone’s input to break free. It is common for affected persons to feel alone and depressed from their inner struggles and experiences. Without help, the person might not realize their problem or find the motivation to change.
Since codependence affects everyone, it would be difficult to break free from the problem without getting everyone involved. As we are about to discover in this section, it takes the help of family, friends, and a health specialist to overcome the problem. You can also seek assistance by joining a support group. Each of these groups offers different types of assistance to recovering persons.
Family and friends support in overcoming codependence
Codependency has often raised various debates on whether it is a personality or a dysfunctional relationship. Codependence can occur among family members and friends. Codependent families are very common and often learned and passed down through generations. For these families, it appears quite normal, and it is difficult to realize they have a problem.
Whether you were raised in a codependent family or are in a codependent relationship, the habit is a form of addiction that is hard to let go of. It is almost impossible to deal with the problem without involving other family members or your partner.
Codependent families often have an unspoken culture whereby they avoid talking about issues by acting like they don’t exist. Unless the whole family acknowledges they have a problem, they will always live in denial, and the problem will keep hurting people from one generation to the next. Even when the problem is obvious, codependent families will not talk about it because no one wants to break the rules and speak up.
Families share in experiences, which makes it easier for members to understand each other without passing harsh judgment. In some cases, there might be an individual struggling with an addiction, mental illness, or other disorder, causing the family to abandon their individual needs to offer help to the affected person. In such a case, the entire family needs to act and strategize a plan to be able to get help and break free from the disorder.
The first step in breaking free from such toxic relationships is first acknowledging the problem by observing the signs. In codependence, everyone is affected, and it takes collective responsibility to recognize the problem. When a loved one is suffering, family and close friends do what it takes to provide support. As they help, they get caught up in a situation that leaves everyone feeling helpless. Most often, it takes time to acknowledge the existence of a problem because codependency appears natural to the families involved. As a result, most families seek help when everyone is at a breaking point.
In a romantic relationship or friendship, codependency, family, and close friends are the first people to spot toxicity. Family offers the best form of support for codependent persons. They understand each other better and can easily offer help without being considered intrusive.
Once you notice unhealthy patterns in a relationship with a loved one, it is good to take time and try and understand what is going on before coming to a conclusion. There are many signs of codependency that you need to look for, including an individual committing all their energy to help the other person to the point they neglect their own needs. It might appear normal because of underlying conditions such as drug and substance use and mental illnesses. However, it doesn’t mean codependence is the right way of handling the situation.
How can family and friends help with codependency?
Family and friends are a critical part of a person’s life, sharing everyday life experiences and offering support through difficulties. If one person is affected, the entire system of family and friends is affected and offset. Family and friends help provide emotional, psychological, and physical support, and without the support of a loved one, it would be difficult for the individual to recover. Whether it is a loved one struggling with addiction or generational codependency, it has to be resolved for everyone to realize their full potential. The connection between loved ones makes it difficult to overlook one’s suffering.
Family and friends can help in the following ways:
Identifying an unhealthy relationship
Anyone can notice these toxic elements in a relationship. However, only a concerned person would take time to understand the existing dynamics. There is a need to look closely into the relationship and identify the toxic patterns and how they affect those involved. Also, you will need to carry out research on the signs of codependency and find out if they match. Additionally, you can further read on the causes and everything else you can on the problem to know how to approach the issue.
Having the Conversation
When highlighting the problem to a friend or family member, you need to find the best moment and do it with love. Let the person know that you care about them and assure them of your unconditional support. Also, let the person understand that it is treatable, and they have a chance of getting better and leading a normal life.
It is helpful to allow the person to figure out they have a problem without bringing it up directly. In most cases, people live in denial and will not readily accept they have a problem. For this reason, you need to take your time and lay down the problem without passing blame or being judgmental. You can easily lose trust and offend the person if you start making accusations.
Keep in mind that codependents enjoy being in charge, and it’s simple to get sidetracked and tricked into complying with their wishes and maintaining their behavior.
For the person to open up and confide in you, they should feel you care, have good intentions, and trust you. You should, therefore, empathize, be patient, and be ready to listen more than you talk. This also creates a safe environment to connect and have a conversation without the individual feeling the need to be defensive.
It is common for people in such circumstances to feel isolated and overwhelmed, and when given a perfect environment to speak up, they can initiate their healing process. Through your conversation, you can give them hope for living a normal life and building healthy relationships with the unconditional support of loved ones.
Rebuilding the individual’s self-esteem
Codependency in relationships occurs from the individual’s low self-esteem and need for constant affirmations from others. The individual feels they need reassurance to function. As they keep up the relationship, their self-esteem continues to suffer. It is important for the person to get back their self-esteem and begin seeking validation from healthy sources, create healthier boundaries, and express their needs in relationships.
Family and friends also have a role to play in enhancing the individual’s self-esteem, which might take time to recover. Someone who is recovering from codependence needs the necessary support to engage in activities that boost self-love. Having wasted a significant amount of resources and time on someone else, the individual can easily get frustrated and lose hope in rebuilding their life.
There are various ways to rebuild self-esteem, including forgiving, appreciating oneself, and being kind to oneself. If your loved one is recovering, you can help them take up hobbies, follow their dreams, and focus on things they love. Self-love doesn’t mean being selfish but maintaining a balance in your commitment to others and your needs. It is helpful for the person to learn how to listen to their feelings and fulfill their personal needs without feeling guilty.
It is also common for codependent people to have issues with saying no. If a situation is not favorable for the individual, you can help the individual refrain from making decisions that may lead them to fall back into codependency.
How far should you go in offering support?
As you provide help, be cautious not to fall into a similar relationship. Provide as much support as you can, prioritizing your own needs. Also, be patient and understanding because recovery is gradual. The individual will be fighting guilt and regret over their past behavior, which comes with low self-esteem. You can help them overcome these feelings by letting them understand that they have no control over the past. Finally, don’t expect them to be perfect. If need be, you can get them the help of a specialist to walk with them.
People with loved ones living in codependent relationships need to understand that offering support is different from saving. If you want to help, you should only offer support through listening and encouragement, but only the individual can fix the problem. Also, whenever a person fixes their own mistakes, they get to learn critical life lessons, and they are less likely to repeat the mistake. Moreover, doing everything for them denies them an opportunity to develop self-confidence and other coping mechanisms. As a result, the individual will avoid similar mistakes, and when they occur, they’ll know how to fix them.
It is important to understand the limits to supporting the individual. For instance, you cannot offer support to an abusive partner by being the perfect companion. While you offer support, some cases require treatment for the individual to recover. The person should first acknowledge they have a problem and are ready to be helped.
Support of a specialist
Like any other learned behavior, codependency can be unlearned. Also, with professional help, it is possible for people in codependent relationships to heal and work on healthy relationships. But first, both persons need to admit they have a problem and seek help.
Codependent relationships often require the help of a professional. Issues that build up codependence in a person are rooted in their early childhood experiences, which often involve dysfunctional family roles and addiction. Without psychological analysis by a professional, it is difficult to establish these causes and come to terms with them.
Therapists and psychiatrists are health specialists who can help persons struggling with codependency overcome the problem. They do so by recognizing codependent tendencies and assisting the individual in recognizing and accepting repressed emotions.
If you have a loved one struggling with codependency, you might not be able to help on your own because there are many underlying issues in the person’s past that have affected them psychologically.
As a result, it is only through treating the mental problems that the person can heal from the bad habits. You should, therefore, have a conversation with them about the possibility of seeking professional treatment and how it can help them lead healthy lives.
A therapist has the knowledge and skills to analyze behavior and patterns in relationships, determine their cause, and develop appropriate management plans. By revisiting past experiences, the individual is able to understand their behavior and see how it has affected their lives and those around them. They can professionally help the individual with tendencies associated with codependency, such as perfectionism and low self-esteem.
Additionally, they train the person to acquire skills critical in recovery, such as self-compassion. As a result, an individual learns to be kind to themselves through self-love and forgive themselves for past shortcomings. This helps lessen their need to overcompensate and seek approval from others.
Treatment plans for codependence often require targeted professional help. A therapist may have to invoke various treatment plans, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and counseling. Through the process, they help the patient understand their feelings, their evolution, and the arising compensation strategies.
Therapists can also help codependent persons become assertive and build healthy relationships whereby they offer support without enabling toxic behavior.
Therapy is a process professionals use to help codependent persons revisit, explore, and talk about their past experiences, which might have caused the behavior. It causes the individual to explore shame-inducing scenarios in their past, enabling them to let go and move past them.
Professional counselors address codependency problems from their roots by creating a safe environment for someone to recount their experiences and explore emotions. For one to heal, one might need to attend several regular therapy sessions to self-reflect on their self-loathing feelings until they dissipate.
The healing process from codependency is gradual. With psychotherapy, the individual gets to understand their need to overcompensate and fulfill others’ needs at the expense of their own based on their past experiences. A specialist often helps patients develop self-compassion, work on healthy self-esteem, control anxiety, and overcome depression. In other cases, a therapist may recommend group therapy as part of the treatment plan.
Support groups
Human beings are social creatures, and groups are cultural, social, and religious. Family influences behavior throughout the life of an individual. Support groups are a major source of support for persons struggling with any form of addiction or illness. They are composed of persons with shared experiences and concerns to provide each other with emotional support, encouragement, and advice. This form of support is critical for persons struggling to recover from codependency. It helps the individual realize they are not alone and others who went through similar challenges managed to overcome them.
Additionally, by connecting with others experiencing like difficulties, they can travel the path to recovery together. The patient consequently adopts a more optimistic outlook on treatment. aspires to lead a typical life with wholesome connections.
The environment created by support groups is also ideal for codependents to share their challenges, as they feel safe, without fear of criticism or judgment. Codependent persons in recovery can also share ideas and discuss the new way of living. The environment helps motivate the individual and keeps them focused on change and starting over.
Support groups can be formal or informal, professional or unprofessional. In professional formal support groups, a therapist or treatment center can bring together a group of people undergoing treatment for group therapy. This form of treatment is effective. As it provides solutions to isolation, depression, and shame, especially for persons without adequate family and friends support. Also, members witness the success of others, which acts as a motivation for change.
Support groups also provide support to family and friends with a codependent loved one. This support is necessary because codependency has a huge impact on the emotional and psychological well-being of those affected.
In some cases, group therapy is more effective than individual therapy. Formal groups are around therapeutic goals and provide codependents with support and stabilization through persuasion. They also offer comfort, insight, and guidance for codependents, fostering skills in healthy attachments and self-expression. Other necessary social skills for building healthy relationships.
Can a codependent be happy?
Only while making great sacrifices for their partner can a codependent feel content. They can think that they must be needed by the other person in order to experience a sense of purpose. Codependency may exist between one or both parties. To appease their partner, a codependent would disregard other significant aspects of their lives.
Conclusion
Codependency has a huge impact on the self-worth of an individual and their loved ones. If you think a loved one is codependent, you should take the necessary steps to help them recover. You will need the help of a therapist to establish the problem and provide the necessary treatment. After the issue has been identified, care, love, and acceptance are required. Empathy by family and friends for the individual to find the courage and motivation to change.